3 December 2012

Apple misrepresenting iPad Mini delivery times

Thinking of buying an iPad Mini only from Apple, online? Beware. I decided to do just that and, though not happy, was prepared to wait the two weeks for delivery that was quoted on the order. That was on 11 November. As soon as I place the order it came up as 'expected for delivery on 4 December'. Now, that's not two weeks but 22 days (i.e. more than three weeks). I decided not to complain or cancel - what's another week after all? Then, on Saturday, I got the following by text and e-mail [my italics]:

Good news! Items in order [xxxx] have shipped and will deliver by 11/12/2012
So, apparently, it's good news to delay someone's order by another week, i.e. to 29 days from the originally reported 14, without explanation. Well, this time I thought I would complain but guess what? There is nowhere on the website for such a complain to be given and when contacting an Apple Store one is simply told that as the order was made online there's nothing they can do to help.
Lest you think I am just one unfortunate person: three people in the same office block as me have experienced the same levels of service from their orders: dates being missed by weeks!
This is Apple Customer Service? Well, if so, then it's crap and I would seriously think about how you buy an iPad Mini if you need it for Christmas. It seems I have to just part with my money, wait until they get their act together and, at some point, I will get something. I just hope it isn't obsolete by then! I shall certainly think long and hard before buying another Apple product and, at any rate, be monitoring their customer service levels. 

20 July 2012

Time

The future
began
just now.

The past
ends
in a moment

The present
came
and went.

8 May 2012

The madness of life


Life's infancy is delivered with a long-lasting magical madness
dissolving to reveal a fog of portent adolescent angst
supplanted by love and laughter collapsing into
the craziness of family life or singularity of
batchelordom all to diffuse their light
across a blur of middle-age spread
reduced in the twilight of years
where age-related conditions 
eat holes in the brain and 
at the end of the day 
the only sane thing 
to do is to
die
.

29 April 2012

Getting the most from Twitter

This post first appeared on one of my technical blogs at Hedgehogs.net (http://bit.ly/Im1OO0)  though I have edited it to bring it up to date. Twitter is a great tool but you need to understand how to make best use of it and not all of the information is readily available.

I've been using Twitter now for a couple of months. Used properly it's a great tool for spreading your message, be it personal or business, to a wide audience. Used badly it can compound negative perceptions that others may have about you, your product, or your company.
There are many guides out there that impart sage advice on using Twitter but I've noticed a few things that never seem to be covered or, if they are, have no explanation attached to them. I am going to address these here but feel free to add any I may have missed by way of comment.
  1. Make your tweets relevant to your audience. Post links and information that are relevant to the message you want to communicate.
  2. Actively target new contacts. Research others on Twitter and follow them - not all will follow you back but a significant number will and the fact that they follow you increases the chance that they comment on your posts (because they're relevant to what you're saying) which increases your exposure to their contacts... pyramid marketing to a relevant audience. That's quite powerful.
  3. Don’t be afraid to ‘unfollow’ people. Like any other Internet tool, Twitter has spammers. A lot of these are easy to spot: they normally only have one post that contains a link to some nefarious service of a dubious nature, plus they are following a gazillion people but not actually being followed back by many. True, if you don't block them your ‘followers’ count goes up but do you really want those sorts of followers? I don't and I doubt you do.
  4. When posting links, include text that gives the link context. Don't just post a link with no explanation. Doing that gives no one a reason to click on the link. Presumably you put it there in the hope that people will click through, so give people a reason to do so.
  5. When posting a link, shorten it. Use one of the many link-shortening tools (bit.ly or goo.gl). That gives you more room for posting your context text. You can use Twitter’s default shortening tool but using one of the free, more commercial ones, allows you to track who has clicked on it, so you have more understanding of what your target demographic likes.
  6. Use the news! Twitter has the concept of news channels. These are denoted via a keyword with a hash sign at the front which people can (and do) subscribe to. So, for example, you can follow Tweets about the situation in Iran using the #iranelection channel. Have a think about news channels that your target market might be interested in. If you use a tool like Tweet Deck you can create the news channel as a search pane. Monitor the channel(s) you think might be relevant to your target group and when you identify one that you think is appropriate start including the keyword in your Tweets. This gives you more (and instant) reach to a wider audience.
  7. Are you logged in? Not to Twitter, I am kind of assuming that one but be careful when copying and posting links that you aren't copying from a site to which you are logged in. In that case, unless the clicker is alos logged into that site they won’t see what you intended them to when they click through. All too often I see people post links that I can't get to because I am not a member of the website where they saw the genius article that they want to share. If you do have to post such a link, tell people that a sign-up is required to read it.
  8. Re-Tweet Tweets that you think are interesting. People love to have their work acknowledged so do it. And try to ensure that you acknowledge  the original Tweet source (RT @sourcename). This can create a problem on some platforms if the original post was near or at the 140 character message size limit (especially if the link is at the end). If that happens, try and cut out any noise words but still leave the original meaning unchanged. If you re-tweet other peoples messages they are likely to be more receptive to re-tweeting yours.
  9. Tweet often but wisely: don't do it for the sake of it. Tweet with relevance. That's one of the most important pieces of advice I think I can give. Lots of people tweet about how they just combed their hair or had a muffin for breakfast. Trust me, no one cares about that stuff.
  10. Don't be afraid to say thank you. If someone re-tweets your posts or provides something of particular relevance to you or your business, a little grace is no bad thing and can go a long way: even in the twittersphere.
That's my 10 pearls of wisdom for today. I'm now off to tweet a link to this post - let's hope people think it relevant enough to re-tweet ;-)

21 April 2012

Blog name change

I changed the name of the blog to 'My Creative Stream' because I felt that 'London Writing' was a bit pompous and presumptuous of me. Also the original intention of the blog has changed (evolved, grown) from being simply short stories to also including comment and tips on the craft of creative writing.
Hopefully the new name gets the intent across without sounding too pompous :)

19 April 2012

Why I hate James Bond

(Just a bit of fun)

Why I hate James Bond

My report's with HR, with M, and with Q,
about that philanderer (you know who).
He's a bluffer (makes me nervous),
on Her Majesty's Service
(and from what I can see,
he serves no useful purpose).

He gets everything he wants,
and never has to sign for it,
yet if I poo in Thames House
It's signatures in triplicate.

It's all so unfair, he gets all the best gadgets
with stun gas and lasers and whizzy big widgets:
all I get's a phone with some stupid apps,
his new Aston Martin has special mud caps
that turn outwards revealing a huge scatter gun
(I just sit in an office, on a chair, on my bum).

He's this obsession with Blofeld who, so he claims,
has vile, evil plans and nefarious aims.
But, from the pictures I've seen,
he's cat lover and really awfully quite tame.

He's been seeing a woman of exceptional looks
with whom he's supposedly beating up crooks
and he claims to fight sharks and men with steel jaws,
(I'll wager in bed that he farts and he snores)

But I know the truth, yes, I've worked it out:
She's not what she seems (and he's just a lout).
She's really an agent from a far eastern land.
(Ha! Even his nookie is pay-on-demand)

I've been watching you see for several long weeks
Every move, every contact, awake and asleep
He thinks he's so clever, with his wit and his charm
My report will soon crack the façade of his calm

What? I'm undone, but how can this be?
They've not come for him, they're arresting me.
It's not fair, I tell you, I've committed no crime
(well, apart from the money I took that one time).

and that's locked in safe in deep darkest Devon,
with cameras, steel walls, and security men,
who won't let you in unless the right code is given.
Of course: the PIN that I used... it was double-oh seven!

16 April 2012

The five word sentence danger

With thanks to Sharon (A215). Here is a good tip. It's about five word sentences. I  think it applies to nine word ones too. Or two. Perhaps even three. But now, I'm playing about. So back to five words.  You need to vary it. Or else it gets dull. Make up your mind, here.